The Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumperhead started as a "post by email" that I wrote in college. When I moved away from school, the story widened and took on a different role for me, hence the Jester's Chronicles. Quite some time has past now and I find that I am returning to telling this weird little story, or The Trials. I suggest starting from the beginning. Some characters have been around that long...In April 2012, this story will turn 15. ....and Thanks for reading.

Friday, September 11, 1998

Chronicles XI: The Shifting Sands of Power.

As the fall season slowly made itself felt across the realms, the Jester
and Ar' D. Jazan made their way north to the edge of Gothex. After many
hours, they arrived at the abode of Murrin, recently released as Baron
Saing's retainer as had his consort Ramierez. Murrin had tried to
develop the ability to breathe as a fish does, but had not perfected
the spell. Ramierez had turned over his research in the pursuits of
things more horrid. Murrin sent for the local Ars and the Jester to aid
in his research. It took almost a week for the spell to be truly
successful, but in the end all four swam to great depths and as though
they were fish. All of them rejoiced and drank until the sun was low in
the sky, then the Ars and the Jester chose to return to Gothex proper.
Upon their return, the Jester was served with a notice that message had
arrived for him from an unknown source in the Kingdom of Twisting
Rains. Queen Growley Bear, Slayer of the Dragon of York, Vanquisher of
the Western Empire, Queen of all that she surveys had sent him a warning
that Baron Saing had encroached upon her lands and that Gothex had a
week to remedy the situation or that her eye would turn to the Port City
and things would become unpleasant. The Jester, having once known her
as a young noble, was well aware of her reputation and passion for
getting things done. The Jester forwarded on the warning to the King.
Privately, the Jester wondered: if the Queen were to come to Gothex,
would these squabbling political bodies would her siege, probably not he
The Jester sought out Kindle and spent hours in her counsel, after which
his mind was cleared and his soul lightened. He was concerned that with
Kindle's departure that she might not return. He had learned that many
beings as powerful as Kindle became less and less involved in the
affairs of mere mortals. Although it was unknown who had mastered the
most power, Kindle, the Plague Wizards, the Ars, Terra or the Baron, it
was certain that if these powers were ever to turn on their tentative
truce most of the realms would be obliterated. Well that was if you
believed in magic...
Meanwhile, on the border of Gothex, a fatigued army of unholy creations
ransacked local villages and towns, slaying inhabitants and mutilating
animals in the foul rituals. The Baron sat back in his throne of human
carcasses and smiled, that thin leer that unsettled his closest advisors
who secretly wondered if their head would make the next foot rest for
his throne. Late in the night, still a week's march from Gothex's
palace, reports came that some whelp had denounced and replaced him.
Well this pathetic tenderfoot would feel the extent of his wrath, all he
had to do was continue along without drawing the gaze of
Queen-what's-her-name and that little brat of hers. All things will be
as he deems that they should be, right now he needed patience. There
would be blood enough to bathe his army for a year. All things to

Wednesday, September 02, 1998

Chronicles X: Time Flies When You're a Fish.

In Gothex:

And so the day came, as though to preempt the return of Baron Saing, a
freak show rolled into Gothex on a bleak and rainy day. Gef’Rey the
Pious and the Jester make their way down to the Square to see the show
and are horrified to find that people are dying in foul and unholy ways.
It took weeks to clear the Square of the putrid smell of death and decay
the freak show had brought upon their fine city, but it was soon
discovered that the owner, a whale of a man by the name of Herr'ing the
Foul, who had entered into a pact with Saing for a few "unholy perks" in
the afterlife, had brought with him a noxious cloud that had killed more
than a hundred poor souls. Fortunately, the freak show did not appeal
to a large portion of the populace. Still it had left its mark upon
Gef’Rey and the Jester, both of whom are probably scarred for life.
Meanwhile, hidden away safely on the outskirts of town, Dar Benedict
having seen the effects of his dealings with Herr'ing finds that he has
new resources in the Black Baron tends to promote himself to a valued
position for his new Lord. If only to aid in his plans for Boones, he
will serve like any good pawn, because pawns too can kill Kings if
they're used right.
For the King Dekker, ruler ship is not as easy as he thought it might be.
Guilds squabbling, parties vying for a minute of his time, family
concerns, and assassination attempts are not things that make running a
country a joy. But for the most part he stumbles through it. There was
that mass poisoning on the square, reports of 13 foot giants building
pyramids on the roads, the drunken riots in celebration of his
coronation and reports that an undead army was returning to his city,
not bad for his first 3 months as King.
While the Jester was wandering off to the Lake of the Damned, Ar' D.
Jazan noticed that Gef’Rey the Pious was neglecting his studies. D.
Jazan sent forth runners to find his pupil only to find that he was
nowhere to be found. It was not until a Smitty had fallen asleep on the
road outside the Unseen Library did the location of Gef’Rey become
known. Apparently, the Pious one, seeking solitude had headed off into
the mountains to consider the horrors of what had occurred on the
Square. It was on said mountain that Gef’Rey was found, rain pouring,
lightning threatening, he tore open his robes and bared his chest,
screaming into the wind. It was then that lightning chose to flash and
the Pious one tumbled like a rag doll, down the mountain.
In a small hut with stakes holding it down, a single red star adorning
its roof, Kindle prepared to make a voyage across the Great Sea. Her
reverie was interrupted by a messenger sent from the Jester. It was odd
because the Jester had been traveling so much that the two had not
spoken much. Hopefully he had learned the spell to breathe as a fish
does and that he was prepared to give her the components. But no, the
scroll was in regards to Lady 'deGuile, the Jester had not heard from
her and had grown concerned. As Kindle consulted her scrying pool, she
saw the vague images of 'deGuile in a drunken orgy of sorts with all
manner of vices in use. It was not clear if this was the present, past
or the future, but it was cause for concern. Kindle would have to
dispatch a messenger to look into it, but she more important things to
do in the mean time. That damned Saing was returning soon and that was
a whole other mess to worry about.

In the Lake of the Damned:
Ramierez and the Jester took long forays into the briny deep to uncover
lost artifacts from shipwrecks. It was odd, swimming as a fish might,
at length and in the murk of the Lake. More than once the Jester felt
as though Ramierez had tricked him into leaving the safe confines of
land on these expedition, but without fail they had found a relic, a
scroll, or some other manner of magic which the Jester could take back to
Gothex. But the Jester, not accustomed to magic being at work on him at
length could not endure as much as Ramierez could. The Jester found
himself sleeping for long periods to recover from the effects. , and so he did.

In Boones:
Boones had it bi-annual election and with few changes continued on it
merry way. The black cloud that hung near their city had left with
Saing's army, but the Governor insisted that the stacks of dogs remain
as a warning to others. And so they did, until they started to
decompose, then they were set on fire, no comment on the smell then.
The only significant news was when Queen Growley Bear wiped out the
Western Empire. JJ was dispatched to York to learn what they could
about the Queen of Twisting Rain.