It was late on midsummer’s eve, when the Jester and Tintar
were stopped on the road.
"Mi' Lord, a dispatch." Tintar took the letter and read. When he
finished he turned to the Jester and said, "Well my friend, it seems that
the Minstrel Kahz is playing at the Harlot's Bosom. Shall we get a pint and hear what he is
playing?"
The Jester replied, "Lead on good sir, to good drink,
fine music, and excellent women."
Several hours later, the travelers arrived at the infamous tavern. They found Kahz playing to the best of his
ability and the women were swooning.
They made their way to an open table and were soon enjoying pint of
stout when an incident occurred.
Midway through an epic ballad, a young woman strode out of
the kitchen with a ladle in hand and began to beat Eepir Kahz about the head
and shoulders. The flock of women at his
feet scattered into the corners of the bar.
She kept screaming "Get the bloody song right!" until he fell
back onto the ground mildly bloodied. At
that point, she turned on a heel and marched right back into the kitchen.
The Jester and Tintar just stared at each other for a
moment, until Tintar said "I knew a woman like that once, I had her locked
up in the sanitarium. She kicked like a
mule." With that he shuttered, and
the two men got up to see if the minstrel was alright. As the approached, a young woman was already
attending to him. She had laid his head
comfortably upon her chest and was wiping away the blood with the hem of her
dress.
After realizing that their care could not compete with the
young woman's ample compassion the two men retreated back to their table.
Finishing their pints, the Jester queried his friend. "Now I have seen you in battle,
bloodied, bruised, and beaten down. I
wonder, do you think you would have gotten up more quickly after being healed
on the battleground if you were promised a night of 'minstrel care?'"
"I would have gotten up, but not in the way that was
meant for fighting" Tintar joked back.
Before too long the minstrel was sitting on a stool singing
a love ballad to his endowed caregiver.
"Let us depart before I forsake warfare for a dress and
women's work." Tintar said pulling
the Jester out of his seat.
As the tavern’s door closed, the wailing tune drifted out
with them.
Several weeks later, a personal note was delivered to
Tintar's apartment.
"Dear Comrade,
My precocious cousin has alighted from the family lands and
my agents have reported seeing throughout your great city. She has taken up with a classless man who
entertained in my court a number of months ago.
He now performs at a tavern call's the 'Whore's Bossum' or something
like that. Please find her and make sure
she is in safe keeping.
Your brother in arms,
Arvais Draconni"
Tintar sent several of his elite trackers to Eepir Kahz
boarding house to keep an eye out for her.
Their orders were clear, follow, protect, and do not intrude until
ordered to do so.
For months reports came in.
Kahz had definitely taken up with the young woman. She was a foreigner. She went by Allyssa. She had expensive tastes. She talked about mythical monsters. She was, by all accounts, not a lady after midnight .
Tintar decided to use some more aggressive tact in getting
information. He sent the Jester to visit
the couple and report back his findings.
That evening with a gift in hand the Jester rapped on their
door. Kahz opened the door, his clothes
were all asunder. "Well good
evening my wandering friend. What brings
you to my humble abode at this early hour?"
"May I come in?" the Jester asked as he stepped
through the doorway. "As the sun is now setting, it seems only unsavory
characters are getting on with their days.
Did I wake you?"
"Wake me, by all good heavens no! Rouse me from my bed then yes! But what's done is done. Come in!"
As if on cue, a lovely young lady in a gossamer gown floated
down the stairs. "My love! Soon to be my bride! This is the Illustrious Royal Jester! Are you still royal with it being an empire
and all now? It's all mad rubbish
anyhow. Jester this is Allyssa! We are to wed next summer!"
"Well then, this may be more appropriately a nuptials
gift." He said as he set the
covered gift on the nearest table.
Allyssa rushed forward to open the gift. As she pulled off the blanket there sat a
small iron cage. In the corner of the
cage, no more than a hands breath wide was a small fire dragon. With its world suddenly brighten the dragon
reared back spit out the tiniest fireball, no larger than a candle's
flame. Allyssa squealed with glee and
said "How did you know? It looks
just like the one I had as a young child!"
"It thought it was fitting. I found him last year. He needed someone to care for him. If my memory serves me right he is a cave
dragon. It will be another year or two
before he is strong enough to use his wings.
I think he would make an excellent addition to your home for a few years
at least."
"I name thee Prince Pyrite." said Allyssa as she
coaxed him out of the cage and onto her hand.
"Well thank you old friend, a handsome little devil if
I don't say so myself. Let's drink and
talk there is much to catch up on."
Eepir took the Jester's arm and led him to a back room.
<<Author's note: I did write this for a huge fan and his soon to be wife. As it turned out...I never actually published it anywhere. So I just emailed it to the fan (not sure if it will get read as time has dramatically changed the nature of our relationship) and now I feel comfortable posting it here online. As with all "Lost" episodes, this does not conform to any particular point in the timeline.>>
