The Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumperhead started as a "post by email" that I wrote in college. When I moved away from school, the story widened and took on a different role for me, hence the Jester's Chronicles. Quite some time has past now and I find that I am returning to telling this weird little story, or The Trials. I suggest starting from the beginning. Some characters have been around that long...In April 2012, this story will turn 15. ....and Thanks for reading.
Sunday, December 21, 1997
In the not too distant past...
Now it is true that the Royal Jester has retired from the service of the Court, he still holds close ties to powerful members of the Court.
Shortly before his retirement, Ambassador Errien and Duhnk, chose to celebrate The Festival of Bygone Eras at his winter estate. Many members of the Court made their appearances. Including, the Jester, the Princess, herself (with an entourage), the Capt. of the Guard, and Brand (using time off from torture duty).
The Festival began shortly after sundown and continued well into the earliest of the morn. Many colorful personalities peppered the evening. The Barkeep was almost executed for treason, and various wenches were employed to satisfy to patrons. Many a minstrel and acting troupe were retained to amuse to drunkards. Various commoner undesirables made appearances and were promptly pitched into the moat. Later on into the evening JerRand, the ambassador of Effingleer (and good friend to Errien) and his betrothed grace the festivities with their presence. It is rumored the JerRand came to warn Errien the Edwardoland may be under attack before the year is out. He advised that it would be wise for anyone to flee the land before the coming war.
Princess Thumper Head's entourage caused quite a stir upon their arrival. Lady Vase's absence led to much posturing as her loyalty to the Princess. Lady Prim of Ahz accompanied the Princess with two servant boys. Lady Prim's politics have been questioned of later, because it is rumored the she consorts with Sir Martier, a former knight, who is now employed as a mercenary in the Western Empire which is currently at war with Ar' Hizona over trade rights. To worsen matters, her half sister (by marriage) Lady Prop 'Hor has returned to the Western Empire to serve her Lord Runt. Princess Thumper Head plans on a diplomatic mission to the Western Empire to smooth over relations between the two kingdoms.
Monday, November 17, 1997
"The Kingdom of Edwardoland was shocked by the sudden departure of the Royal Jester from the Court early this morning. Sources close to the Royal family speculate that there may have been a falling out between the Jester and the Princess.
The Royal Jester has survived many of the scandals that have rocked the Royal Family. From rumors of a child out of wed-lock to exile to the Duchy of De Kat-hor (a fabricated plot to assassinate the Queen came to light and the Jester and two lower members of the Royal Family were implicated), the Royal Jester has steadfastly defended to Royal family, and at times has claimed responsibility for various scandals.
The most recent scandal to rock the family was the Holiday that to Princess took this past summer. Rumors surfaced before her return, that she had taken several lovers during the month long retreat from the public's eye. Several men have come forward, but were promptly arrested on a myriad of charges and kept in the dungeon.
The Princess has a long history of scandals, stretching back to taking a commoner as a concubine to her brash choice to not marry Prince Lugg, earlier this year. With the departure of the Jester, once again the Royals are being closely examined. it is rumored that the Jester's services have already been retained by a Potentate in the desert kingdom of Tem'pe, in the Land of Ar'Hizonah.
It is rumored that the Jester is taking with him proof of several scandals and rumors of things that we haven't even heard of. We will continue to try to get an interview with him before he leaves."
This is Georgina, reporting for the Edwardoland Investigator.
Thursday, April 17, 1997
Now it is only fair to say that the Festival of Drunken Musicians was a tolerable affair. All of Royalty was there, and various peasants of Edwardoland came to pay their respects to The Queen and her family. Being the Royal Jester,
I was of course to provide the entertainment, but I found that the Queen and her subjects were far to enlightened by drink to appreciate my musings. As the Festival wore on, it did have its exciting moments. When a court page was rejected by a noble woman, what else was there to do but throw himself from the balcony?
It is a shame that commoners just can't seem to understand the Nobility and commoners do not mix. Fortunately, the young lad was too intoxicated to have felt the thump left on his head and faired well.
Later on into the Festival, after Brand had been helped back to his bungalow and
The Queen was found, wandering in a hostile Kingdom, the Ladies of Nobility proceeded to partake of a game of seduction. They had waited until the other noblemen had left or fallen into a drunken stupor, such was the case for Prince Lugg, Sir Pax, and the other Knights. This game involved, but not directly, a bottle and six participants. When Sir Pax awoke from his drunken stupor, he was most enraged with the infidelity of his mistress, Lady Vase. This brought a crashing end to the game, and some drunken blubbering from Sir Pax, Lady Vase, and Princess Thumper Head. All of the Queen's subjects bedded down for the night, most of them by themselves. In the morning a fresh blanket of snow had covered the landscape and coated and the misgivings of the previous evening's festivities.
With the departure of the Queen, Princess Thumper Head, Lady Vase and Sir Pax (off to repent for their sins and ask the Bishop for his forgiveness), this left a few members of the Peanut Gallery and myself to clean to Villa where last night's festivities were held. A visiting Nobleman was to make his appearance and the criers signaled his advance. The mad scramble to cleanse the Villa resulted in a surprising success! And the day was spent sleeping off the effects of the festivities!
Tuesday, April 08, 1997
Announcing the Epic to end all epics, coming soon (in installments), as the author writes them:
The Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumper Head.
Princess Thumper Head, the protagonist
Lady Vase, Slayer of Small Cars, PTH's lady-in-waiting
The Queen, PTH's mother (by adoption)
Sir Pax, Knight Errant, Lady Vase's love
The Royal Jester, the antagonist
JJ the Red, Capt. of the Guard, long time friend of the Jester
Brand the Brute, Royal torturer
The Peanut Gallery, various residents of the Kingdom of Edwardoland, who have heir own two cents to throw in.
Now that we have the cast, let's introduce the setting.
Time: In the not so distant past, at the Festival of Drunken Musicians, hosted by Sir Pax.
This is the premise for the Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumper Head.