The Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumperhead started as a "post by email" that I wrote in college. When I moved away from school, the story widened and took on a different role for me, hence the Jester's Chronicles. Quite some time has past now and I find that I am returning to telling this weird little story, or The Trials. I suggest starting from the beginning. Some characters have been around that long...In April 2012, this story will turn 15. ....and Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, January 28, 1998

Chronicles II: The Trials of Ar D'Jazan

Jester's Note:
This installment was written by Ar' D. Jazan and edited by the Jester, for your entertainment.

During the travels of the Jester this last weekend, he stopped by the abode of Ar' D. Jazan, philosopher, magician, and sage. The Jester had hoped to consult the hidden library before embarking on further ravels, but before he could secure permission to peruse the stacks, a winged messenger brought tidings of a damsel in distress.

As Ar' D. Jazan had in sworn a foolish oath in his youth never to leave a maiden in distress, he left immediately by conjured chariot.

This sudden departure left the Jester surrounded by the rabble that always seems to surround D'Jazan (many seek his wisdom, but few receive it).

Hours later, D. Jazan returned dejected. Although he had successfully rescued the young lady, he found out she was far from maidenhood, and thus not covered by his oath.

Seeing the sullen face of Ar' D. Jazan, the Jester turned his efforts towards cheering up the sage. Though he was successful in his efforts, the Jester was unable to gain access to the hidden library.

--Ar' D. Jazan/The Royal Jester

Tuesday, January 27, 1998

Chronicles I: The Beginning.

And so came the day that the Jester feared, traveling unprotected from Gothex to Boones to preside over the annual Festival of War games, where proud young men tested their meddle against each other in the hopes of currying Royal favor. The Jester had spent many hours in the company of Ar' D. Jazan, the sage, in the hopes of divining the most fortuitous manor of travel. Unfortunately, Jazan could only manipulate the weather in a favorable way during the course of his travels. It took many hours and the aid of his most astute pupils, Gef'Rey the Pious and Tintar the Cloistered, but they were able to provide for the Jester's safe passage from Gothex to Boones. Upon his arrival, only the Governor was to be seen and in not top form, as a night of drinking and wenching was to attest. After a few formalities, the Jester saw himself off to bed.

Early the next morning, the Jester made his way to a fine artist's commune with performers and artisans. After several hours commiserating with the commoners, he made his way back to what was left of Edwardoland. Thousands dead, refugees by the hundreds trying to pick up what the war left them, the land was rubble and burned husks of what used to be homes. Walking these lanes, the Jester realized the fortunes that had befallen him and his choice in moving to a different court. After briefly consulting with JJ the Red about the possibility of another attack from Effingleer, the Jester made his way back to the Governor's house to prepare for the Festival.

The Festival lasted several hours and ended quietly in the early hours of the evening. The Jester received a summons to appear before Princess Thumper Head. While he waited, Lady Prim wandered the halls and the Jester chatted about the court life and heard that the Princess was not in her right mind these days. It was at this ominous warning
that signaled that the Princess was ready to see him. It took only a short time for the edict to be laid out before him. Apparently, the Princess, in her rather fragile state, had ordered the Jester exiled from Edwardoland in his absence. His ignorance, being his only defense, failed to protect him and the Jester was charged with treason. The
Jester had just enough sense to flee to Boones and seek asylum from the Governor.

Ministers Di'Rand, Brand, and Benedict issued proclamations that the Jester was under Boones' protection. While all this was comforting, the Jester still had to make his way back to Gothex to perform his duties there. He departed a day early to seek counsel with the wise seer Kindle, rumored to be a witch. He quested for many hours in the barren realm of the Western Empire seeking her out. Only when she was ready did she make herself appear to him and then only in a vision. Kindle awoke the Jester from his delirium, fed and comforted him in her elegant abode, which she keeps concealed from the mortal realm. After hours of being queried on his reasons for traveling a great distance, she rewarded him with a kernel of her knowledge.

As he departed from her protected realm, she pressed to his palm a message for the Gypsy Queen who was masquerading around as a noble woman by the name of 'deGuile. The Jester accepted his burden, thanked the witch for her insight and made for the Court of Gothex, where he had to be at sundown. Arriving safely, he secreted himself away to read the message meant for 'deGuile. Opening it was easy, reading the script was not. He summoned Gef'Rey, the monk, to decipher it. As he read it, the poor monk turned ashen and ran from the room, but not before he muttered something about having to save a Princess from murder.

Tuesday, January 20, 1998

Epic VII: The End of the Further (Mis)Adventures of PTH

Well now, I would like to thank everyone who wrote in a requested that their alter egos live on in the Jester Chronicles, for those of you who no longer follow the (Mis)Adventures, I would like to thank you for letting me know who you are. For those of you who follow the melodrama that I refer to as my life, thank you for making the (Mis)Adventures so popular.

For a quick update before the Chronicles go into effect...

Sir Pax, slain during the Battle of Springville.

General Lugg, assassinated during the attack on Springville.

Lord Runt, poisoned possibly by Lady Prop 'Hor, heir apparent.

Sir Martier, executed for treason.

Queen 'de Berghess, having taken ill, died in her sleep.

JerRand and Fihz, arrested in an attempted coup, held in the dungeon.

Dane Benedict, kidnapped by an unknown assailant.

* And introducing the Witch Kindle, renowned seer and magician.

* And Tintar, librarian in the Unseen Library.

And sooner or later I'll get around to writing the continuation of these things.

The Jester

Wednesday, January 14, 1998

Epic VI: The Safe Passage of the Jester to Boones, from Gothex.

The day started out peaceful enough. The Jester, having to make his way to Boones, packed carefully, thinking that it had been some time since he had paid his respects to the Royal family. Shortly after high noon his consort, Lady de'Guile, rumored to be a gypsy, arrived and the quest to Boones by way of Edwardoland began. Now with the coming war, the roads were unsafe outside of the domain of Gothex.  But the Jester seemed to think that it was important to make it to Boones.

The Princess, herself was evacuated along with most other members of the Royal house. The Queen fled to her father's court in the Far East, and Princess Lead Head was left to continue her studies in De Kat-hor.

Rumors circulated that Minister Brand and Dpt. Minister Benedict has slipped into Gothex and assessed their military build up, posing under the guise of visiting Dane Benedict. The Minister of Defense has been in executive meetings since their return, planning and plotting for the coming war. Governor Errien has extended political asylum to all refugees from Edwardoland, including war criminals. Fihz, a former gunner in the Edwardoland militia has taken up permanent residence in Boones, for fear of execution in Effingleer for firing upon a civilian school and several churches. Fihz, is under the vigilant eye of Brand and Dar Benedict...any reason for a hanging is a celebration.

The Jester had a private agenda for his travels as well as a public one.

While it is true that he felt the need to pay respects, he had received a message from Squigg, implying that his return to Edwardoland would prove useful to the power structure of the realm. It seems that the Princess was in low spirits and as always the Jester's antics would be appreciated. So off he was with a token of protection from the wizard Ar' D. Jazan to ward off evil spirits. It was this token that saved the Jester and his companion from certain doom while traveling through the besieged northern holdings of Edwardoland. The war to the north was not going well for the "Eddies". Those "Effers" were laying waste to everything insight, fortunately due to Lady deGuile's forte and quick
thinking, they arrived, slightly delayed, but in one piece.

After pleasantries were exchanged, the festivities were under way at the Governor’s behest. Mysteriously, Brand and Benedict disappeared, possibly to conduct "official business" as their station and paranoia dictated. It seems that during the course of the evening the widowed Governor took an interest in the Lady deGuile and a familiarity by evening's end was reported by onlookers. A minor court member noted how things always seemed to work out in the Jester's favor and if that was so did he too have an agenda? Or was it all fate?

This just in....
Fighting has picked up closer to home. Armies were dispatched from the palace to meet Effingleer forces marching from the north. Reports are sketchy, but it seems the Sir Pax was slain and that on of Effingleer's generals was felled as well, it is said to be Princess Thumper Head's jilted love, Prince Lugg.

Also, there has been an attempt on Queen 'de Berghess' life. The would be assassin was slain as he fled, the Queen has fallen ill, due to the attack. Healers are being summoned from all over the realm.

Sir Martier has been stationed on the Empire's eastern most border, rumored to be preparing to invade as Edwardoland is weakened.

Some suspicion has been cast on the Provincial Governor Errien, with his continued association with Ambassador JerRand. JerRand fled from Boones, as the war broke out in northern Edwardoland.

Will Edwardoland survive the coming assault? Will Boones ally themselves on way or another? Is there a treaty in place that will ensure the fall of the thrown? No one knows for sure.


Sunday, January 04, 1998

Epic V: The Close of PTH.

Author's note:

Please be aware that The Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumper Head, will soon be coming to a close. They will be followed by the Jester's Chronicles. Due to unfortunate circumstances (and the fact that the cast list is over 20), some characters will be meeting some unhappy endings. Please write in and vote/suggest who should pass on and how. The "dead" line for this event is Jan 19th, 1998. One year after the Princess Thumper Head legend was born. You will notice below
is the standing cast have fun.

The Further (Mis)Adventures of PTH


In Edwardoland:
Princess Thumper Head, the protagonist, our heroine
-Lady Prim, the Beautiful, Noble from Ahz
-Lady Vase, Slayer of Small Cars, PTH's lady-in-waiting
-Squigg, the Royal Page
--Sir Pax, Knight Errant, Lady Vase's love
Prince Lugg, PTH's former love, now exiled

In the (recently freed) Independent City-State of Boones:
Errien, Former Royal Ambassador, now Provincial Governor
-Duhnk, ex-Royal Coach Driver, now the Minister of Culture
-Di'Rand, ex-Royal Hunt Master, now the Minister of State
-Brand the Brute, ex-Royal torturer, now Minister of Intelligence
-JJ the Red, Former Capt. of the Guard, now Minister of Defense
-Dar Benedict, traitor to the Crown of Effingleer, Deputy Minister of
Intelligence, spy for the City-State of Gothex
--JerRand, Royal Ambassador from Effingleer

In the Port City-State of Gothex:
The Royal Jester, the antagonist
Ar' D. Jazan, ancient hermit wizard, Keeper of the Unseen Library
-Dane de Benedict, Dar's infant daughter

In De Kat-hor:
-The Queen, PTH's mother (by adoption)
--Princess Lead Head, PTH's sister, the outcast

In the Western Empire:
Lord Runt, Emperor of the Western Empire
--Lady Prop 'Hor, half sister to Lady Prim, also from Ahz
--Sir Martier, consort of Lady Prim

In the Wastelands:
King Luiggi Roland, King in Exile to the Wastelands
-Queen 'de Berghess, married to King Luiggi, also in exile