Epic VII: The End of the Further (Mis)Adventures of PTH

Well now, I would like to thank everyone who wrote in a requested that their alter egos live on in the Jester Chronicles, for those of you who no longer follow the (Mis)Adventures, I would like to thank you for letting me know who you are. For those of you who follow the melodrama that I refer to as my life, thank you for making the (Mis)Adventures so popular.



For a quick update before the Chronicles go into effect...

Sir Pax, slain during the Battle of Springville.

General Lugg, assassinated during the attack on Springville.

Lord Runt, poisoned possibly by Lady Prop 'Hor, heir apparent.

Sir Martier, executed for treason.

Queen 'de Berghess, having taken ill, died in her sleep.

JerRand and Fihz, arrested in an attempted coup, held in the dungeon.

Dane Benedict, kidnapped by an unknown assailant.

* And introducing the Witch Kindle, renowned seer and magician.

* And Tintar, librarian in the Unseen Library.


And sooner or later I'll get around to writing the continuation of these things.

The Jester

Epic VI: The Safe Passage of the Jester to Boones, from Gothex.

The day started out peaceful enough. The Jester, having to make his way to Boones, packed carefully, thinking that it had been some time since he had paid his respects to the Royal family. Shortly after high noon his consort, Lady de'Guile, rumored to be a gypsy, arrived and the quest to Boones by way of Edwardoland began. Now with the coming war, the roads were unsafe outside of the domain of Gothex.  But the Jester seemed to think that it was important to make it to Boones.

The Princess, herself was evacuated along with most other members of the Royal house. The Queen fled to her father's court in the Far East, and Princess Lead Head was left to continue her studies in De Kat-hor.

Rumors circulated that Minister Brand and Dpt. Minister Benedict has slipped into Gothex and assessed their military build up, posing under the guise of visiting Dane Benedict. The Minister of Defense has been in executive meetings since their return, planning and plotting for the coming war. Governor Errien has extended political asylum to all refugees from Edwardoland, including war criminals. Fihz, a former gunner in the Edwardoland militia has taken up permanent residence in Boones, for fear of execution in Effingleer for firing upon a civilian school and several churches. Fihz, is under the vigilant eye of Brand and Dar Benedict...any reason for a hanging is a celebration.

The Jester had a private agenda for his travels as well as a public one.

While it is true that he felt the need to pay respects, he had received a message from Squigg, implying that his return to Edwardoland would prove useful to the power structure of the realm. It seems that the Princess was in low spirits and as always the Jester's antics would be appreciated. So off he was with a token of protection from the wizard Ar' D. Jazan to ward off evil spirits. It was this token that saved the Jester and his companion from certain doom while traveling through the besieged northern holdings of Edwardoland. The war to the north was not going well for the "Eddies". Those "Effers" were laying waste to everything insight, fortunately due to Lady deGuile's forte and quick
thinking, they arrived, slightly delayed, but in one piece.

After pleasantries were exchanged, the festivities were under way at the Governor’s behest. Mysteriously, Brand and Benedict disappeared, possibly to conduct "official business" as their station and paranoia dictated. It seems that during the course of the evening the widowed Governor took an interest in the Lady deGuile and a familiarity by evening's end was reported by onlookers. A minor court member noted how things always seemed to work out in the Jester's favor and if that was so did he too have an agenda? Or was it all fate?

This just in....

Fighting has picked up closer to home. Armies were dispatched from the palace to meet Effingleer forces marching from the north. Reports are sketchy, but it seems the Sir Pax was slain and that on of Effingleer's generals was felled as well, it is said to be Princess Thumper Head's jilted love, Prince Lugg.

Also, there has been an attempt on Queen 'de Berghess' life. The would be assassin was slain as he fled, the Queen has fallen ill, due to the attack. Healers are being summoned from all over the realm.

Sir Martier has been stationed on the Empire's eastern most border, rumored to be preparing to invade as Edwardoland is weakened.

Some suspicion has been cast on the Provincial Governor Errien, with his continued association with Ambassador JerRand. JerRand fled from Boones, as the war broke out in northern Edwardoland.

Will Edwardoland survive the coming assault? Will Boones ally themselves on way or another? Is there a treaty in place that will ensure the fall of the thrown? No one knows for sure.

Reporting,

Gorgina

Epic V: The Close of PTH.

Author's note:

Please be aware that The Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumper Head, will soon be coming to a close. They will be followed by the Jester's Chronicles. Due to unfortunate circumstances (and the fact that the cast list is over 20), some characters will be meeting some unhappy endings. Please write in and vote/suggest who should pass on and how. The "dead" line for this event is Jan 19th, 1998. One year after the Princess Thumper Head legend was born. You will notice below
is the standing cast list...so have fun.


The Further (Mis)Adventures of PTH

Featuring:

In Edwardoland:
Princess Thumper Head, the protagonist, our heroine
-Lady Prim, the Beautiful, Noble from Ahz
-Lady Vase, Slayer of Small Cars, PTH's lady-in-waiting
-Squigg, the Royal Page
--Sir Pax, Knight Errant, Lady Vase's love
Prince Lugg, PTH's former love, now exiled

In the (recently freed) Independent City-State of Boones:
Errien, Former Royal Ambassador, now Provincial Governor
-Duhnk, ex-Royal Coach Driver, now the Minister of Culture
-Di'Rand, ex-Royal Hunt Master, now the Minister of State
-Brand the Brute, ex-Royal torturer, now Minister of Intelligence
-JJ the Red, Former Capt. of the Guard, now Minister of Defense
-Dar Benedict, traitor to the Crown of Effingleer, Deputy Minister of
Intelligence, spy for the City-State of Gothex
--JerRand, Royal Ambassador from Effingleer

In the Port City-State of Gothex:
The Royal Jester, the antagonist
Ar' D. Jazan, ancient hermit wizard, Keeper of the Unseen Library
-Dane de Benedict, Dar's infant daughter

Also:
In De Kat-hor:
-The Queen, PTH's mother (by adoption)
--Princess Lead Head, PTH's sister, the outcast

In the Western Empire:
Lord Runt, Emperor of the Western Empire
--Lady Prop 'Hor, half sister to Lady Prim, also from Ahz
--Sir Martier, consort of Lady Prim

In the Wastelands:
King Luiggi Roland, King in Exile to the Wastelands
-Queen 'de Berghess, married to King Luiggi, also in exile

Epic IV: In the not too distant past.

In the not too distant past...

Now it is true that the Royal Jester has retired from the service of the Court, he still holds close ties to powerful members of the Court.

Shortly before his retirement, Ambassador Errien and Duhnk, chose to celebrate The Festival of Bygone Eras at his winter estate. Many members of the Court made their appearances. Including, the Jester, the Princess, herself (with an entourage), the Capt. of the Guard, and Brand (using time off from torture duty).

The Festival began shortly after sundown and continued well into the earliest of the morn. Many colorful personalities peppered the evening. The Barkeep was almost executed for treason, and various wenches were employed to satisfy to patrons. Many a minstrel and acting troupe were retained to amuse to drunkards. Various commoner undesirables made appearances and were promptly pitched into the moat. Later on into the evening JerRand, the ambassador of Effingleer (and good friend to Errien) and his betrothed grace the festivities with their presence. It is rumored the JerRand came to warn Errien the Edwardoland may be under attack before the year is out. He advised that it would be wise for anyone to flee the land before the coming war.

Princess Thumper Head's entourage caused quite a stir upon their arrival. Lady Vase's absence led to much posturing as her loyalty to the Princess. Lady Prim of Ahz accompanied the Princess with two servant boys. Lady Prim's politics have been questioned of later, because it is rumored the she consorts with Sir Martier, a former knight, who is now employed as a mercenary in the Western Empire which is currently at war with Ar' Hizona over trade rights. To worsen matters, her half sister (by marriage) Lady Prop 'Hor has returned to the Western Empire to serve her Lord Runt. Princess Thumper Head plans on a diplomatic mission to the Western Empire to smooth over relations between the two kingdoms.

Epic III: The Retirement of the Jester from the Court.

"The Kingdom of Edwardoland was shocked by the sudden departure of the Royal Jester from the Court early this morning. Sources close to the Royal family speculate that there may have been a falling out between the Jester and the Princess. 


The Royal Jester has survived many of the scandals that have rocked the Royal Family. From rumors of a child out of wed-lock to exile to the Duchy of De Kat-hor (a fabricated plot to assassinate the Queen came to light and the Jester and two lower members of the Royal Family were implicated), the Royal Jester has steadfastly defended to Royal family, and at times has claimed responsibility for various scandals. 


The most recent scandal to rock the family was the Holiday that to Princess took this past summer. Rumors surfaced before her return, that she had taken several lovers during the month long retreat from the public's eye. Several men have come forward, but were promptly arrested on a myriad of charges and kept in the dungeon. 


The Princess has a long history of scandals, stretching back to taking a commoner as a concubine to her brash choice to not marry Prince Lugg, earlier this year. With the departure of the Jester, once again the Royals are being closely examined. it is rumored that the Jester's services have already been retained by a Potentate in the desert kingdom of Tem'pe, in the Land of Ar'Hizonah. 


It is rumored that the Jester is taking with him proof of several scandals and rumors of things that we haven't even heard of. We will continue to try to get an interview with him before he leaves."

This is Georgina, reporting for the Edwardoland Investigator.

Epic II: The Further (Mis)Adventures of PTH! Part II.

 Now it is only fair to say that the Festival of Drunken Musicians was a tolerable affair. All of Royalty was there, and various peasants of Edwardoland came to pay their respects to The Queen and her family. Being the Royal Jester,

I was of course to provide the entertainment, but I found that the Queen and her subjects were far to enlightened by drink to appreciate my musings. As the Festival wore on, it did have its exciting moments.  When a court page was rejected by a noble woman, what else was there to do but throw himself from the balcony?


It is a shame that commoners just can't seem to understand the Nobility and commoners do not mix. Fortunately, the young lad was too intoxicated to have felt the thump left on his head and faired well.

Later on into the Festival, after Brand had been helped back to his bungalow and

The Queen was found, wandering in a hostile Kingdom, the Ladies of Nobility proceeded to partake of a game of seduction. They had waited until the other noblemen had left or fallen into a drunken stupor, such was the case for Prince Lugg, Sir Pax, and the other Knights. This game involved, but not directly, a bottle and six participants. When Sir Pax awoke from his drunken stupor, he was most enraged with the infidelity of his mistress, Lady Vase. This brought a crashing end to the game, and some drunken blubbering from Sir Pax, Lady Vase, and Princess Thumper Head. All of the Queen's subjects bedded down for the night, most of them by themselves. In the morning a fresh blanket of snow had covered the landscape and coated and the misgivings of the previous evening's festivities.

With the departure of the Queen, Princess Thumper Head, Lady Vase and Sir Pax (off to repent for their sins and ask the Bishop for his forgiveness), this left a few members of the Peanut Gallery and myself to clean to Villa where last night's festivities were held. A visiting Nobleman was to make his appearance and the criers signaled his advance. The mad scramble to cleanse the Villa resulted in a surprising success! And the day was spent sleeping off the effects of the festivities!

Epic I: The Announcement.

Announcing the Epic to end all epics, coming soon (in installments), as the author writes them:

The Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumper Head.

Featuring:

Princess Thumper Head, the protagonist

Lady Vase, Slayer of Small Cars, PTH's lady-in-waiting

The Queen, PTH's mother (by adoption)

Sir Pax, Knight Errant, Lady Vase's love

Also:

The Royal Jester, the antagonist

JJ the Red, Capt. of the Guard, long time friend of the Jester

Brand the Brute, Royal torturer

And:

The Peanut Gallery, various residents of the Kingdom of Edwardoland, who have heir own two cents to throw in.

Now that we have the cast, let's introduce the setting.

Place: Edwardoland.

Time: In the not so distant past, at the Festival of Drunken Musicians, hosted by Sir Pax.

This is the premise for the Further (Mis)Adventures of Princess Thumper Head.